retirement friend's trip to the store
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:18 pm
My Trip To Costco
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO
buying
a large bag of Purina dog chow
for
my loyal pet, Molson, the Wonder Dog, and was in the
checkout
line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What
did she think I had, an elephant? So since
I'm retired
and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I
> >
didn't
have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again... I added that I
> >
probably
shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that
> >
I'd lost
50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told
her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete
so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention
here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
my story.)
Horrified,
she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff
an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought
the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack
he was laughing so hard.
Costco
won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends......it will be their Laugh for the day.
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO
buying
a large bag of Purina dog chow
for
my loyal pet, Molson, the Wonder Dog, and was in the
checkout
line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What
did she think I had, an elephant? So since
I'm retired
and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I
> >
didn't
have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again... I added that I
> >
probably
shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that
> >
I'd lost
50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told
her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete
so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention
here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
my story.)
Horrified,
she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff
an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought
the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack
he was laughing so hard.
Costco
won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends......it will be their Laugh for the day.